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Notes from a Hypochondriac by Christina Mather Cough cough. Oh no, I must have TB Another chest x-ray this month. That makes 3 Up to date on all my vaccines I worry still since I use public latrines. Thirst. Frequent peeing. Blurry Vision. Diabetes? More likely it’s due to all those vodka martinis Self-Prescribed vancomycin for MRSA. “A little paranoid,” wouldn’t you say? Afraid of sudden death by saddle embolism. What I could use now is a mind-body schism. Don’t tell me I have leiomyosarcoma. My advanced directive says pull the plug on my coma. What if I develop esophageal varices? Please reincarnate me as one of the trees. As the first case of smallpox since 1977 Is it too late to say that I believe in Heaven? Reading medical texts makes me feel much worse. In lecture I daydream of a ride in a hearse. As a doctor will I always feel sick? Ignorance is bliss. That must be the trick. Christina is part of the medicine class of 2010.